If You Can’t Read This You're Illiterate
Before I get into today’s blog, I want to apologize
to all the readers out there, I know you’ve all been waiting patiently for my
next post, checking this page on a weekly, daily, maybe even hourly basis in
anticipation of my next post. I won’t lie to you all, I’m a struggling
writer/engineer now and even the best hitters in the game have slumps. But
America loves a comeback story, so consider this the second coming of my blog. But
before I rock this blog “I want to dedicate it to my father, he was a roofer so
Dad if you’re up there…”
They say laughter is the best medicine and I know
when I’m looking for a good laugh watching Seinfeld, Cheers, The King of
Queens, How I Met Your Mother or Arrested Development always hit the spot (or
should I say funny bone). Butt of all jokes (see what I did there!?) One liners
are my favorite, Rodney Dangerfield, Stewart Francis and Jay London are by far
my favorites. Here are some samples:
- I met this girl, she told me to come over there’s nobody home, I went over and there was nobody home.
- I bought a book about hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.
- I quit my job at the helium factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
- I went out with a girl who does the weather, we talked up a storm.
- If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
- My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-* bird noise.
- Did you know it was a year ago today?
- I’m not an actor, but I play one on TV.
- The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
- I told my old man I wanted to go to the Zoo, he said if they want you they’ll come and get you.
- He died two years later. He was crushed by a piano. His funeral was very low key. B flat, but I can’t leave you on that note.
- People laughed when I said I’d become a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now!
Hopefully a few of those made you laugh. That’s it for this week, but don’t fret, I'll be back next week with yet another blog.
You don't need a parachute to sky dive once, but you do need a parachute to sky dive twice
