The bittersweet taste of leaving…
Done with classes, and halfway through finals, the finitude of college has certainly set in. It really blows my mind how fast it all went by, the classes I have attended, the homework assignments I worked on, all the exams I studied for. Now with only one final left, I really do have my foot out the door. I remember looking forward to graduation, but now that I am there I find myself looking back. It really is a bittersweet feeling.
Here is the sweet half of it: I have a job, only a co-op, not a full time engineer, but nonetheless a job. In today’s tough economy, I am glad to have an entry level position in a field that I am interested in. I am also on the verge of accomplishing the most challenging task I have taken on so far; studying for my bachelor’s degree. I really beat the odds too, coming from a vocational high school; I was not even expected to go to college. I’ve managed to pull my GPA out of the hole I dug for it my first two years. Going from a 2.5 to a 3.0 is a serious challenge. I will be walking in the spring. I will not be cum laude, magna cum laude or summa cum laude, but that does not matter to me. I am proud of myself for what I have done.
Here is the bitter half of it: I will be saying goodbye to what has been my life for the past 4.5 years. I will no longer be a full time college student. I know that I have a lot of growing up to do. Society pressures us to get married and start a family soon after graduation. That’s how my older sister did it, that’s how my girlfriend’s older sister did it. And quite frankly, it scares the life out of me. Above all, the scariest part is that life will be taken off of auto-pilot. When you are a student, you have a schedule and a curriculum laid out for you:
· 2 tbsp. of electives
· 1 cup of gen ed’s
· 2 cups of core classes
· bring to a boil
· reduce heat and simmer for 8 semesters.
But now, there is no set path, no recipe for life. I have spent a good amount of time searching for a direction. I have been looking for someone or something to tell me what to do next. I have finally come to the conclusion that there is no one to tell me what to do, I have to make my own way.
In conclusion, I have long thought that college was supposed to be the ‘best time of your life.’ I felt like leaving college was the end of my young life. Now I see things in a different perspective. When I realized that I have unlimited opportunities and potential, I came to understand that I can mold my life anyway I want to. I am starting a journey, not as a passenger, but as the driver. I am excited to get out into the real world and make a name for myself. “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
Thanks for reading.