It Just Hits Me Like a Brick...

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I woke up this morning with one of the weirdest feelings in the world.  It feels like something hit me really hard - not physically, but mentally.  As soon as I opened my sleepy, blurry eyes, all I saw was my desktop calendar.  I tore off the first page, put on my glasses, and realized what day it was:

"Friday, January 16, 2009"

Is it really January 16th or is it just a dream?  Has the month been that fast?  What happened to the month long winter break?  I finally got the sense that my final semester in UMass-Lowell will begin in 10 days.  In 10 days, my final sprint to my Bachelor's Degree in Exercise Physiology starts.  After realizing all that, I grew excited and worried - yeah, mixed feelings right there.  I was excited that its finally my last semester in my degree.  I've been waiting for this moment since day 1 of freshmen year.  I've always thought about my last semester, well, actually my last full day of classes.  I imagine it as a warm "wear your shorts" day and all of us are excited beyond belief.  I imagine my buddies taking our final pool game at the McGauvran Student Center with our water bottles sitting on the already-turned-off heater right next to the large windows.  Right there, we just reminense about the four years from the one year of torture from general physics to that tough pharmacology class we all had to take last semester...

At the same time, I'm worried what the semester will throw at me.  Clinicals start this semester and I'm working at the cardiopulmonary clinic at Saints Memorial Hospital.  For some reason, I feel very ill-prepared for any type of work over there.  It just feels like I don't know much about any cardiopulmonary stuff to do well there.  Heck, I'm still having trouble taking blood pressure on the treadmill.  Another worry I have is what will happen after graduation.  Will I find a job right away or will it take forever to find something?  Generally, with the Exercise Physiology degree, you can enter into many areas of the health field, like entering the doctor in physical therapy program at UML, working as a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialists, becoming a personal trainer, working as an exercise physiologists at the hospital, work at the cardiopulmonary clinics, etc (I will talk more about the options with the Exercise Physiology degree in a future blog post).  I know there will always be a job for me in the health field, since the demand for these jobs are always high.  Right now, I'm still undecided - which area would fit me perfectly?  Will it be the right choice?  (Yeah I think/question way too much).  I know down the line, I'll aim for a higher degree, but my major plan right now is to get experience out there, learn from experts in the field through work, and bring all my experiences to a higher degree program.  In that, I would feel even more prepared for graduate school.  Then my current "60% devotion" to graduate school would be a "100%." 

It sounds like I do have an actual plan, but I'm just scared of the uncertainy and the mystery of the future.  In my college career, I've seen a lot of things fly perfectly, then take a nose dive to complete failure.  Probably, I'm just afraid to run out there and fail.  I guess that's something we're all afraid off.  I just have to stay in a positive attitude, stay consistent with my plans, and look at my future as a bright opportunity, then a mysterious shroud. 

With that positive outlook, I can succeed.  (I hope).

- Christian EP '09




About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Tiongson, Christian J published on January 16, 2009 11:36 AM.

The Holiday Shopping Season - Not What I Expected was the previous entry in this blog.

Inauguration 2009 - Out with the old, In with the new is the next entry in this blog.

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