Hwang, SeungHyeon : November 2011 Archives

Hey guys, long time no blog. I have been extremely busy this month and I finally have time to post a blog! Can't be happier. I should tell you all, that I am actually part of a Research Co-Op program and I am in preparation to write a big research paper on the topic of social media. I'm not confident about it, and it really leads me into the blog topic, which is self confidence.

When I was presented with the fact that I had to write this research paper, I was not exactly thrilled. I am always worried about everything and I knew this is going to be a huge burden, on top of one of the hardest semesters I've had here at UML. I didn't know how to take it. I even thought about resigning because I thought it'd destroy me.

As my professor and I started working together, I felt like I had more of a grasp on what was going to be written. I slowly built up confidence and I am still researching the topic profusely, as the paper is due on the first of January. Might seem like a long time to you, but not to me! (haha)

The hope is that I'd be able to get it done without problems and will go on with my life. If and when I complete this paper, I will be the happiest man in the world. My professor's work in this topic is fantastic, and I'd be lucky if she would be even satisfied with anything I am going to write.

Now does all that sound depressing to you? Because when I read it over, it sounds really depressing to me. I have lost all confidence in myself for something that hasn't even touched me yet. I think part of it is my drive to do well in everything. People might think that's a good thing, but half the time, it's not. I need to learn how to take it easy and take things in stride. Still having a tough time setting a realistic standard for myself.

I have seen some fantastic students here at UMass Lowell. Some are very hard workers and they are much more intelligent than I am. Some are lazy and don't do any work. Even still, we live in a world where we tend to compare ourselves to others, and unfortunately, I happen to compare myself to the highest standards of them all. This is definitely not a good thing.

In the end, I know I am going to complete this paper, I just don't know what quality. My professor has reassured me that everything will be fine and I trust her 100%. The most important thing in the back of my mind is not disappointing her in any way.

Finally, I wrote this blog this way because I didn't want to give you advice like I'd normally do. Quite frankly, I don't have any advice for you because I am having a hard time dealing it with it myself. But if you are going through the same thing I am (the stress of school work and life), I want you to know two things. First is that there are students like you around the campus and the world. We are all trying to solve and deal with it. It's what makes life...life. The second thing is to tell yourself that you CAN do it. I may worry about a lot of things, but telling myself that I CAN do it seems to have put some positive thinking inside my head. You can't go wrong with that.

In fact, you should start with that.

Til next time,

Hey guys. Hope you all have been well. The unexpected snow really hit everyone hard. I hope everyone was okay through it. Anyhow, right now, I am in the process of studying for more exams in my classes. In all honesty, this has been the toughest semester of my life. I can't find a balance in my time management and it's getting hard to manage everything, you know, keep it in control.

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to write about my life right now as a commuter. This blog really provides a way for me to describe what I am experiencing as a commuter. I am grateful for it.

There are many positives on commuting. I get to come home everyday, and there really is nothing better than that in the end. I remember in high school, I wanted to get out of the house, but as I grow older, I am realizing the importance of family. Coming home also makes me really comfortable and more often than not, I can be in my zone. I mean, honestly, I can't describe the best part of commuting into many words. It's just coming home and all the aspects that come along with it.

The negative sides really affect me mentally. The 30-60 minute drive to Lowell from here is never fun, especially during the morning. Then comes my loaded classes on two days, which is pretty much my fault, but gas isn't cheap nowadays. I couldn't afford to drive 4 days a week. After classes, I feel really sluggish, as I do not have time to eat lunch at any time of the day. Usually I'll be munching on snacks between classes, and if I can squeeze in lunch time, I have to finish it in 15 minutes. It may sound like a bunch of complaints, but it's taking a toll.

So my friends ask me why I decide to commute. I don't really have a choice. In this economy, we have to face the music if we are going to save money. I don't have the luxury of some other students, but I try to make the best of it. I'd like to think that it's helping me become a more durable person and I hope so.

My advice to commuting students that may be feeling the same is to be more active than me. Get involved with everything on campus, which I started too late. Embrace the school and force yourself to drive that extra mile to get to campus. It's going to pay off later. 

As for me? Well I decided to stretch my schedule next semester to 4 days a week. It's a penalty that I'm willing to take to really get my mind back on track. I still haven't found the balance between my desire to exceed expectations and reality, and more time on campus may allow my mind to take a break from that whole ordeal.

Thanks for reading guys. I tried to keep it short! I will be back next week.

Til next time,



About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries written by Hwang, SeungHyeon in November 2011.

Hwang, SeungHyeon : October 2011 is the previous archive.

Hwang, SeungHyeon : December 2011 is the next archive.

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