I'm Faking It


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Iím a phony. Every time I accomplish something, I feel like itís just a matter of time until someone calls me out on it. I stand in front of the audience and the first thing I wonder is can they tell I have no idea what Iím doing? In the back of my head there is always a voice telling me that I didnít do it right, or that someone can tell that I wasnít 100% sure how to do it, or that I simply did everything completely wrong. The guy in the corner just put his hand under his chin. Does that mean I said something wrong? I have no idea why, but this voice follows me everywhere, no matter how well I do on a project, interview, test, presentation, etc. Did she mean to write an A on this? Iím pretty sure she meant to erase the line on the right side and add an extra one on the top.

I have no idea what is wrong with me. Self-criticism always finds a way to flood my mind. The thing is Iím pretty sure that Iím not alone. I think that this is a normal feeling. Even the most confident people, feel phony. In order to simmer down the negativity, I have created a reminder list. I go through it before I hand in an assignment, or give a presentation. It includes the following steps:

1)      Breathe. When your heart begins to race, stop and breathe until it slows down to a regular pace. It is impossible to feel confident when you can barely catch your breath.

2)      Remind yourself that you do know what youíre doing. You did the work, right? So flaunt it.

3)      Everyone messes up. Weíre human, itís in our nature. Being human is what makes you who you are. If anything, showing how human you are makes you more relatable and attractive to others.

The point is, youíre not the first person whose face gets red when they give a presentation Ė and neither am I. Thereís a whole lot more in the world to be afraid of.

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Chodat, Thalia J published on November 21, 2013 2:03 PM.

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