So, When Does the Fun Start?

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            I知 scared. I知 terrified, actually. From the outside, I look like the average female college student, but inside I知 quivering. Every day that passes in which I pull off my calm facade, is another day that passes that I am not being fully truthful. Sure, I知 alright. I知 doing just fine. But behind all of my everyday activities and small successes, is a confused girl who actually has no idea what she is doing.  

            Now, that makes me sound like some sad, lost puppy that has no idea what he/she is doing. No, I am not lost. No, I am not sad. But, I am pretty sure that I am making up more than half of the moves that I make every day.

            On my eighteenth birthday my mother (who seemed quite relieved that I had made it safely past high school without either dropping out, developing a substance problem, or losing all of my morals and just becoming really, really annoying) told me that adulthood is just like childhood, except with a whole lot more paperwork. At the moment, I denied her words as the truth because I was overwhelmed with the freedoms to buy scratch tickets or get a tattoo if I wished and the opportunity to say 泥on稚 treat me like a child with true conviction because I was actually no longer a legal child.

Now, the excitement has calmed down and I pass my nineteenth birthday realizing that all adulthood means for me at the moment is signing a whole lot more things, paying off student loans, and not being able to hide behind the phrase 的 didn稚 know anymore. Ultimately, I am beginning to realize that my mother was on point with her statement. (Yes mom, you were right. *Sigh*)

As much as I battle amongst my peers to make myself appear more unique than the next, I am realizing that being an adult does not make me Superwoman and, unfortunately, it takes a whole lot less than kryptonite to hinder me. Fortunately, at the same time, I am learning that this process of being hindered and figuring it out anyways is the process of life. I do not know exactly what I am doing (and here痴 a fun fact: neither does anyone else, no matter what they tell you), and the fun of life and adulthood is figuring it out.

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This page contains a single entry by Chodat, Thalia J published on June 29, 2013 12:34 PM.

How to Become an Honest Manipulator was the previous entry in this blog.

It's That Time of Year Again is the next entry in this blog.

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